If I Were Rewriting President Obama’s Answers At The Twitter Townhall

I have no idea which White House staffer twitterized President Obama’s answers to the questions Twitter users tweeted at the Twitter Town Hall the White House hosted yesterday. I’m sure they had their hands full reducing the long winded, multipart answers Obama is fond giving of into thoughtful, cogent nuggets of presidential wisdom. 

I could only imagine what would have happened if I had been the one charged with translating the president’s responses into tweets. NOTE: you can click on the “10 hours ago” link beneath each recreated tweet to see the original.

Obama:We need commitment to our individualism, creativity, idiosyncrasies-need to run like hell from political idiots like Paul and Bachmann10 hours ago

Obama:Facts are that a modest increase in taxes for wealthiest doesn’t hurt economy. Its not like these mofos hav been hiring anybody anyway10 hours ago

Obama responds to @johnboehner:Tax cuts & other measures Rs opposed helped growth, you fcking dickhead. Bitchassedness not good look for GOP10 hours ago

Obama:We’ve pushed “more reform, more vigorously” than previous Admins, wish I cld “reform” Senate D’s to “more vigorously” support agenda10 hours ago

Obama:Sorting through who owns what in housing market is tough, need to snd mortgage backed security industry to GITMO til they fess up10 hours ago

Obama:We’d like to combine a tax incentive for hiring veterans w/ a campaign demanding CORP USA hire more people at home than overseas10 hours ago

Obama: Tax rates lower than they have been under previous Presidents. My tax rates so low, make Reagan years look like a socialist wet dream10 hours ago

Something tells me I shouldn’t waste any time waiting around for the White House to give me a call about that Twitter translator job.