How to walk the path of “everyday enlightenment”

As children, we were taught the importance of kindness and compassion: “Share your toys.” “Use your words, not your hands.” “Help others when they fall.” These lessons, delivered by teachers, picture books, and shows like Sesame Street, aim to shape how we express ourselves, empathize with others, and manage difficult situations throughout our lives.

However, these same lessons can fade with age. When shouldering the pressures of work and the stresses of daily life, we begin to see kindness as impractical. It becomes one more hassle or even an idealistic notion in an otherwise dog-eat-dog world.

Robert Waldinger, Zen priest and Harvard professor, cautions us to avoid this mistaken mindset. He teaches that simple, intentional acts of kindness aren’t merely social niceties. They are a path toward everyday enlightenment.

In other words, our childhood lessons weren’t just useful in navigating a dispute over building blocks or fingerpaints. Revisiting them as adults can help us strive to be compassionate in every moment — an effort that can transform our work and personal lives for the better.

Enlightenment through connection

As Waldinger told Big Think+ in an interview, enlightenment is about “waking up to the truth of what life is. More specifically, the interconnectedness of everything, the essential oneness of everything.” He adds, however, that the Zen tradition discourages thinking of enlightenment as a self-improvement project. As such, we would be better served to think of “everyday enlightenment” as those activities that reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness in others and our communities.

The rush of life can make even that a tall task, though. We can easily fall into the trap of acting as if we’re separate from the world and focusing on ourselves. But by reminding ourselves about and accepting the interconnectedness Waldinger speaks of, we can be better prepared to change how we interact with others. 

For instance, rather than reacting with frustration or judgment to a perceived slight, we might temper our response with empathy by recognizing that our tormentor may be living with unseen struggles. A kind response can be the thing that improves that person’s day. Similarly, workplace leaders who embrace interconnectedness can better foster environments where individuals feel seen, heard, and valued. Instead of working in silos, teams begin to collaborate more effectively, respecting each other’s diverse contributions and experiences.

“We want to strive for greater kindness and harmony in the world rather than being lost in the delusion of an isolated, permanent self,” Waldinger encourages.

Everything is in flux

He also recommends that we acknowledge the impermanence of life. This is the concept that everything, including ourselves, is in flux. Nothing stays the same. Realizing that everything is fleeting and always changing can help us adjust our expectations and regulate our emotions. It opens up space for compassion and understanding.

“When we realize that, we come to have a lot more compassion for ourselves and for other people. There’s a lot more acceptance. We move from wanting the world to conform to what we like and don’t like, to not needing other people to be different from who they are,” Waldinger says. “Realizing that each of us is just showing up in the world as we are. That’s something to be celebrated and accepted.”

Since everything is always changing, Waldinger warns us to not set our sights on unrealistic goals. Everyday enlightenment isn’t a static achievement. It’s a dynamic, ongoing process. 

“One fact about enlightenment is that it can’t be permanent,” he notes. “If we really know the truth of impermanence, then why would enlightenment be permanent when everything else is not?”

Engaging in enlightened activity

Just like we learned as children, everyday enlightenment isn’t about being perfect either. It’s found in small acts of kindness and our willingness to show up with compassion, day in and day out. Whether at work, at home, or in our communities, any interaction is an opportunity to practice what Waldinger calls “enlightened activity.”

Enlightened activity might look like taking a moment to check in on a neighbor, volunteering for a cause you care about, or practicing patience in the face of frustration. In the workplace, it may mean that instead of waiting for the “perfect” moment of clarity, we listen attentively, share skills with colleagues, offer constructive feedback, and be patient with others.

These small actions ripple out and create a culture of kindness in our personal relationships and the broader communities. They remind us that we are all connected by creating a sense of shared humanity.

Shifting from judgment to enlightened activity can profoundly affect our emotional resilience. Waldinger explains: “Once we realize that everything is always changing, it helps us suffer less. It helps us be more compassionate to other people because we realize they are also dealing with the complexities of a self and a world that’s constantly changing.”

The long-term impact of kindness

Practicing kindness, whether at work or in our personal lives, is also good for our health. Researchers at the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley analyzed decades of research, looking at almost 200,000 participants worldwide. They found that people who were kind tended to have higher self-esteem. They also experienced less depression and anxiety and improved physical health. 

According to the Harvard Business Review, acts of kindness create positive and uplifting workplace cultures. Enlightened leaders nurture work environments where employees feel valued and heard. They also foster a collaborative and compassionate atmosphere, where each team member’s contribution is recognized and their well-being prioritized. As a result, they retain top talent, establish thriving cultures, increase employee engagement, and enhance productivity.

An enlightened culture also leads to more innovation, greater problem-solving capabilities, and higher employee satisfaction. When kindness is embedded in an organization’s values, employees feel more motivated and empowered to contribute to the greater good. Similarly, in our personal lives, practicing compassion builds stronger relationships, improves our emotional well-being, and creates a deep sense of community.

But as with enlightenment, kindness and compassion are ongoing projects. We don’t graduate to a state of kindness; we must strive to bring it to each moment life presents us.

As Waldinger says: “There is only this moment’s activity. If I do something kind that pays attention to my interconnectedness with everyone and everything, that is enlightened activity. It’s pursuing a way to be as compassionate as I can — to pursue enlightened activity in as many moments as I can string together in my life.”