A host needs to be calm, relaxed, comfortable, and she cannot feel judged.

Jennifer Rubell: Well the first, most important thing is that the host has to be calm, relaxed, comfortable, not freaked out, and not feeling judged.  So the . . . getting the host in a frame of mind where judgment is not the main thing occupying their head, but really providing something delicious and comfortable for their friends – that shift is the key to really good entertaining. if you’re stressing about it the whole time it can be memorable, but in a really unpleasant way.  And then also you’re likely not to do it all the time.  And the whole stress around entertaining, I think it’s some kind of like class problem, especially in America.  I think people are terribly afraid that their friends are gonna think that their house is not swanky enough; or that they’re not sophisticated enough.  And everybody feels that.  What’s funny is that the higher you climb up the socioeconomic ladder, the more intimidated people are to show where they live, because they think whoever they’re inviting has a better life than they do.  And it’s not true for anyone.  No one’s coming to your house and saying, “I can’t believe that they didn’t dust the coffee table.”  You know nobody cares. After that, the food has to be good, and I believe the food has to be homemade.  But homemade could literally be only serving, you know, boxed spaghetti with a tomato sauce made from chopped garlic and crushed tomatoes cooked for a half hour.  You know that . . . that, to me, is great homemade food.  So it’s not about complicated food.  But I do think that cooking the food yourself – people walking in the house and smelling good, home cooked food is a huge part of entertaining.

Recorded on 12/13/07